Wednesday, March 27, 2013

"The Blog has Moved" Originally Posted 12/20/10


The blog has moved! I just don't like the new format here. Keep up with me at:

Hope to see you!

"What a Night" Originally Posted 11/01/10

It’s been a very crazy month in Sophie-land. Too much to explain, so I’ll sum up.

In mid-September I was all ready to go to Laptop Lounge early in the week. I had an appointment with Amanda for makeup and all was well. Then my wife gave me Penn State football tickets for that weekend. As a loyal Penn Stater, any other time I would’ve been ecstatic, but this time… ummm I NEED my Sophie time.

So I canceled my Amanda appointment and on the early morning of September 18, I went to PSU to watch the game. It was a beautiful warm day in Happy Valley, and the Nittany Lions won. I also got a bit sunburned.

I drove home as fast as I could, and decided to go to Laptop anyway. I did my own makeup and arrived around midnight. So I got both the game AND my Sophie time!

A couple weeks later, my friend Mary was in town from Pittsburgh, and she, Jen and I decided to go to Monday Night T-Girls on a rainy night. The theme was naughty teachers and school girls. I did my own makeup and had a great time. On the way back to the car, all three of us were splashed by a police car going through a puddle. After the initial shock, we laughed like crazy.

What I didn’t know is that night, I entered someone’s drama. More later.

Fast forward to Oct 16. Another Laptop, and I wore the first draft of my Halloween costume as a Saint Pauli Girl. This night was highlighted by walking over to TGI Fridays in the same mall for a drink. No one even blinked.

Ok, so the stage is set for my favorite holiday: Halloween. Two years ago, I rediscovered myself on Halloween, so I regard it as “Sophie’s birthday.”

Sat, Oct 30: I have 3 parties. I go to Amanda for makeup and wear my Mary Marvel suit from last year. As I didn’t know where the first party was, I stopped at King of Prussia mall. It was packed and I walked around dressed as Mary Marvel. I got some looks but many more people making appreciative comments! I went to Comics and More, where they knew exactly who I was (Mary Marvel) and took some pics.

After the mall, I went to Fox and Hound, a nearby bar/restaurant. I received many kind comments and only one “stink eye.” Jen finally called me and I took my food to go. Off to Exton for a party!

I arrived and found some of the “royalty” of the Philly TG scene: Sandy, Danielle, Jen and so many others. If it weren’t for the confidence I gained by walking in the mall, etc, I may have felt out of my league. I just relaxed and felt at home with my sisters.

Then it was off to another party. This was held by a former co-worker. None of the people there had ever seen me dressed. The hostess didn’t recognize me. One guy clocked me as my walk “wasn’t feminine.” Ok, gotta work on that.

There was a bonfire, and my costume smelled badly of smoke. I played (and won) beer pong. It was a good time, but it wasn’t really Sophie time. It was “guy in a dress time” if that makes sense.

Ok, off to Laptop for their Halloween gala! Great time! Went to Fridays again, took pics, and had a ball. Cleaned up, went home.

Woke up the next day for Halloween. Went to Amanda’s for makeup, then into Philly to the Sheraton, where the Henri David ball is held. I had a room, where I relaxed for a bit and did my nails. I was waiting for some friends to arrive. Eventually, I went to the bar and enjoyed a drink with Lorraine, who made my costume.

The party started and was a BLAST! So many talented costumes!

Fast forward to the end of the night. The aforementioned drama person. Seems she was insulted that I implied she was dating a friend of mine. I apologized and let it go, out of respect for that friend. Well DP (drama person) didn’t want to let it go. She got in my face. Yelled. Threatened. Postured. I pointed out that being arrested would not be a positive ending for the night, but I didn’t back down. In fact it was all I could do from losing it on her. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who covered their feminine side with anger.)

See, my feminine side calms me. As a youth I fought a LOT. (Opinionated + big mouth= fights) So I learned how to fight. As DP was pointing and posturing, I was choosing targets. However, that’s not Sophie. And damn DP for pulling something I thought long buried to the surface while I was dressed! She has no idea what she avoided, and what may have happened. Or of the damage she has done.

In the end, all I know is that I have been threatened. I am still angry. And as Sophie, I really have a minimal “safety net” as my wife and friends don’t know. So I’m kinda on my own here (locally.)

I’m scared. So many things can go wrong now. How can I be a positive force for the community with such a negative force out there, wanting to draw me into their drama? How can such a negative force exist? Don’t we have enough arrayed against us as a group? Do we really need this petty bs?

In the end, I spent over $600 for this night, to have it ruined by a drama queen. But you know what? I think I looked great, and expanded my horizons. So I have that going for me, which is nice.


"Angels Fall Like Rain" Originally Posted 08/25/10

Bonus points if you know from where I stole that title.

It's not the usual third weekend of the month. Oh no, it's very special. SE Pa was the convergence point for so many people this past weekend and they were all coming to the
Laptop Lounge.

From Albany, Lana was making her way south south south past us and on to her birthplace of Atlanta. She was stopping for the weekend. I met her at the
Empire conference when I was singing karoke and she was jumping some guy out on the back patio of the place. She's the one that filmed me singing. She's a TS and is amazing.

From Texas, via Manassas and Aberdeen,
Kimberly Huddle was in town. Yes, Kimberly from Texas, everyone's favorite flying cd. I'd met her twice before and this time we were going to go someplace different. And- I had a surprise waiting.

So Kimberly arrived on Friday. She spent the day at the King of Prussia mall. By the time I finished work and everything, we decided to meet to have a beer in drab. She was staying next to a Hooters, so we met there. Aside from seeing her, the highlight of the night was watching one waitress wrestling another one and dropping her into a trash can. No kidding. That had the whole bar at attention.

The next day my usual friends were to meet at a local place for lunch, but only Jen made it. That was fine as Kim and Jen had a great time meeting each other. We went to the Blue Pacific which is where Laptop was to be held. I wanted to do shots but they didn’t. Sigh.

From there, I went to the motel room Jen and I rented. Where was Lana? Who knows? Her phone was broken so we had no contact with her save cryptic and intermittent messages on Facebook. We knew she’d be at the room at 3:30. Or 4. Or Pi squared. At the room, I re-shaved my face and legs. At 3, I went to Kim’s room, where she had Malibu and cokes waiting. Why so early a meeting?

Surprise! We were going to True Colors for a makeover. Now I do this a lot, but she’s never been there. Once I remember her writing how she’d love a makeover so I decided that as her birthday was only a couple weeks away, a makeover would be a great gift. I didn’t have to twist her arm!

So off we went to see Amanda Richards. Amanda was delayed so we drove around a bit but finally got started. I went first as, well, I wanted more Sophie time. Besides, I wanted to do my nails. After I was finished, Kim sat down and Amanda worked her magic as I did my nails and paced. And paced. I was nervous. I knew Amanda would do a great job, but would Kim like it? I needn’t have worried.

Kim had been searching for a new wig for some time. Amanda sells them and Kim found exactly what she was looking for! So I helped complete a quest. Good karma for me! I hope.

That said, all this fun made us really late. Once again, I missed Renaissance. We went directly to Laptop, which was well underway. We paid our cover charges and then began a whirl of activity. Lana was there and “happy.” Jen was there; everyone was there and looked wonderful! The place was crowded with so many of us! I wore a silky purple top that I wore exactly a year before, a short black skirt, pumps, and hose. I thought I looked great!  

I introduced Kim around and she fit right in (after we all did the shot I had waited all those hours to do.) Everyone seemed so alive. Kim was in her element- meeting new people and dazzling them. Lana was dancing and singing and seemed everywhere at once. Me? I had some drinks and was just glad to be who I was and where I was.

As the night went on I danced, I drank, I watched the Phillies lose. At one point, I leaned against the bar to order a drink and a guy I’d never seen before started taking to me. He’d seen something on Craig’s list about Laptop and came out. He and his wife were open minded, he said. He bought me a drink. He treated me like a lady. He told me I was beautiful. He kept mentioning how he and his wife did fun things with girls like me. I knew what he was trying to say. I introduced him to someone else and excused myself. When I left, they were still talking.

The hour grew late and people slowly began to disappear. I had a big glass of water and started my goodbyes. Eventually I was back at the motel then back in drab. Sophie disappeared for another month.

The story doesn’t end there though. The next day, I contacted Kim and we went out (in drab) for lunch at an Irish bar near where I live. It was pouring rain but we arrived safely and had a great time. Too soon I dropped her back at her hotel. It was an amazing weekend and I was beat.

Lana? I think she stayed at the motel room. I have no idea. No phone means no contact. I hope she made it to Atlanta safely.

So Sophie hides within me for another month. In September is another Laptop but also a Gala Ball! I can’t wait!

"Questions" Originally Posted 08/02/10

I was out Saturday night.

As I was driving from Amanda's to the motel, I started asking questions of myself. Let's face it- I was dressed head to toe as a woman- that WILL spur thought and some soul searching!

When did I become comfortable wearing a skirt? Like second nature comfortable?

When did I stop being fascinated by looking down and seeing I have breasts (when dressed) and see it as perfectly normal??

When did Sophie become critical to my life?

When did "oh my God I'm out in public dressed as a woman!" become "Ok, I'm dressed- where can I go that's safe-ish?"

When did I suddenly own more heels than guy shoes?

When did losing weight become a "dress size" thing instead of a "health" thing?

When did lying to my wife about my whereabouts become so much easier? (but still hurt just as much)

Why do I want to keep doing this so badly?

(To see me reading this, CLICK HERE)

"Sophie Fields a Question" Originally Published 08/22/10

Sat July 17- Sophie time! Time for the Renaissance meeting and Angela's Laptop Lounge.

After lunch in drab with some the gurls, I headed up to Amanda Richards as usual. My outfit was the one I was going to wear for Kim's visit- a new satin black top, black skirt, red belt and heels and new earrings! I was feeling so hot!

As my appointment was so late, I missed Ren (for the first time since I started attending!) and went directly to Laptop. There was a nice mix of new gurls and old friends, and I enjoyed myself. Oh and had some pictures taken! ;)

As always, the night ended quickly. I drove back to the motel to change and sat back in my car to listen to the end of a song on my cd player... and woke up 15 minutes later. Oops!

I gathered what I needed and walked across the lot toward a side door. In the pool were four or five teens splashing about and making a LOT of noise. If I were in the rooms facing the pool, I would've been VERY angry. As it was, I walked by unnoticed and into the side door...

...where there were five more soaking wet teens sitting in the hall maybe ten feet from my door. Uh oh!

"Wow!" "Look at this!" and so on until as I opened the door when I heard

"Hey are you a man?"

I closed the door behind me, thankful it was nothing more than a few taunts.

"Are you a man?"

I looked in the mirror. I saw a woman. A tired and slightly disheveled woman, yes, but a woman. 

I took my last pictures, and looked in the mirror one last time. Then started the long process of cleaning up so I could go home.

"Are you a man?"

Who am I? I don't even know any more. I know this- I love being Sophie and for that short time I am a woman. The rest of the time I am confused and searching...

"Philadelphia Kimmie! Part 2" Originally Posted 07/08/10

So we jump into the car and start the dark and arduous journey to Philly. VROOM! On I-95, Kim let the Mustang run a bit but not much. "I don't want to get get caught speeding, DUI, and in drag," she said. Good point!

As the city appeared through the dark summer haze, ABBA blasted from her speakers. Surreal, really. We found a place to park, and um, walked right past where we were going. It wouldn't have mattered if Kim wasn't hopping cross-legged at this point (beer and potholes don't mix.)

We asked for directions and went down Camac Street, little more than an alley. Here we found Tavern on Camac, home of Kalina Isato's Monday Night T-Girl Party. We opened the heavy wooden doors (after I tripped over the damn sandles for the third time in five minutes.) We were greeted by a woman singing while playing piano. Her singing and playing was so very strong. Kim made a beeline for the restroom while ordered a couple of beers.

Properly relieved, we sat at the seats around the piano. Kim was facinated by this amazing woman. We sat for about ninety minutes and had a wonderful time- talking and singing along.

I had an animated Star Trek discussion with a few of the patrons (yes I am a geek) and one of them eventually felt me up. I didn't feel like ruining the evening, so I just gave him a look. Besides- they were breastforms. I don't know what a correct response is.

Eventually we had to leave (alas, Kim had an early morning.) My idea of running up the steps of the Philly Art Museum al-la Rocky was politely but firmly rejected dammit and we headed back out to the burbs.

I had one of those amazing moment as we walked to the car. I saw my shadow from the streetlights. The shadow wore a skirt, had a bit of a figure, and long hair. There was nothing masculine about that shadow- it was a woman. I can't tell you how happy that made me.

We arrived back at her hotel, and she graciously allowed me to change there. I changed, showered, we hugged and I departed, wish ing that the night could've lasted longer. I had so many plans for it- people were supposed to meet us, singing, open mike- all kinds of things. Every single freaking one of them fell through but one- we had a great time.

Maybe I should plan less and enjoy more.

And BE Sophie Lynne.

"Philadelphia Kimmie! Part 1" Origianlly Posted 07/08/10

In this crazy thing we do, I have been blessed with many dear friends. In my drab life, I tend to keep people pushed away. I have many aquaintences but few friends to whom I can confide and really talk.

Yet as Sophie, I have some very good friends. They already know my biggest secret, and they don't care. Well that's because they are the same way. We understand each other.

So Kimberly Huddle was coming to town. I met her once before, and we've kept up with each other through phone and IM. So now she was coming back. Last time I met her, I was in drab. This time I wanted to meet her properly. Fortunately, I had off of work...

So I made plans. I wanted to look hot- so I planned this sexy black outfit and made an appointment with Amanda Richards. I wanted her to feel welcome, so I posted on the various boards that she was coming and let's give her a big Philly welcome (no, not booing.) Ok, all set. I even had money to spend from an ebay sale I made.

So the day arrived, July 7, 2010. Here in Philly it was record heat: 103 degrees with humidity in the 80% range. There was no way in Hell I was wearing black in that weather! So i quickly threw together something casual and cute (or at least I thought so.) I didn't have the right shoes (I NEEDED white pumps) but I would deal. (At this point Jen Johns is passing out.) 

So I drove up to True Colors and Amanda did another amazing job! I was ready, and met Kimberly ay her hotel in Malvern, Pa. She was giddy over her latest Goodwill purchase- a wedding gown! A beautiful wedding gown for only $35! My question was how in the world was she going to get that puppy home! It was huge! And beautiful.

We took some pics (unheard of, I know) and hit the road.

The plan was to go to the Nevermore in New Hope, Pa, where I heard they had OpenMike. Kim's car was a souped up new Mustang. She loved the car- how it sounded, its power- everything. On the way I was treated to a cd of her original music which was amazing. Oh, for the record, she may have broken the speed limit once or twice. ;)

Oh, we did make a quick side trip. We stopped at ShangriLa, home of Angela's Laptop Lounge. The idea was to run in, have a Jack, and leave. However, she didn't feel comfortable doing this, so we didn't even get out of the car. Well at least she saw the parking lot! ;)

VROOM, we covered the space between Malvern and New Hope at Warp 6, and had a great time doing it. Found the place easily enough, walked in... No Open MIKE?!?!? Sh*t! She's gonna think I'm some kind of idiot! I apologized profusely and ordered us a round of Jack shots which helped. Turns out it was trivia night, and there were six players counting us. All were at least 60- except us. If you answer five questions correctly, you get a free drink. I'm ok at trivia, so I won three free ones. We then played pool, which she won and got Philly! 

End Part 1